Chester A Bum Reviews Sherlock: Episode 1
by The Mad Writer of Brooklyn
Summary: A funny review of The First Episode of Sherlock in the style of The Bum Reviews. Enjoy!


**_Welcome to Bum Reviews, starring Chester A. Bum_**

**_Tonight's Review: BBC Sherlock, Season 1, Episode 1_**

Oh my god! This is the best show I've ever seen in my entire life. You might be wondering how I have a TV, the truth is, I don't, I watch TV on my Compu-teh-manator box!

I deduce…spoilers!

So there's this guy, named John Watson-who is not Judy Law, and he's all like, "I'm sad and I have a limp cause I was shot in war and stuff."

And his shrink is all like, "I think your pain is all in your head."

And Jon's like, "Fuck this shit and fuck you, I'll never see you again."

Then there's this random fat guy on a bench we know nothing about, and he's like, "You're poor, you need a roommate."

And John's like, "I know. But I'm an asshole, no one'd live with me."

And the fat guy is like, "I know another asshole who needs a roommate."

Then we cut to a lab where this guy is beating a corpse with a riding crop-

I beat a corpse with a riding crop once, only it turned out to be Russell Crowe's acting career.

Then we cut to another lab where John meets Sherlock, who is not Tony Stark, and he's all like, "I can deduce stuff and I don't like you."

Then John's all like, "You're awesome."

And Sherlock is all like, "I think I like you."

So they start solving crimes with each other and there's this guy named Lestrade, and he's all like, "Sherlock's a dick."

Then this forgettable other sergeant who's all like, "Bro's cray-cray, be warned!"

And Anderson is all like, "Fuck You."

And this scientist named Molly is all like, "I love Sherlock!"

I knew a scientist named Molly once, only it turned out she was a prostitute.

And everyone thinks that John and Sherlock are gay.

I was gay once. And yeah, that's all I got.

Then, John is kidnapped by this hot girl, and she's all like, "Come here."

And John's all like, "Okay."

And then they go to this place, and there's this mysterious guy who's all like, "I know you need money and all. So I'll give you money and you tell me stuff about Sherlock."

And John's all like, "I've only known him for an hour."

And mysterious guy's all like, "So, you'll do it now."

And John's all like, "Nah, I'll stay poor."

I was poor once, but I still am.

Then, it turns out that the suitcase is in pink, and Sherlock found it, and there's a drug bust that's fake and Sherlock is all like, "How dare you?"

And John's all like, "Yeah, Sherlock doesn't do drugs."

And Sherlock is all like, "Shut up John!"

And John is like, "You do drugs? How dare you?"

So Sherlock sees the cap driver who is also a serial killer, and Sherlock's all, "I'm gonna kill you"

And the Cab Driver is all like, "Yeah but then I won't tell you how I killed four people."

And Sherlock is all like, "Alrighty then!"

Then they go to this building, and the cabby is all like, "One pill is poison and one pill isn't you take one and I'll take the other!"

And Sherlock is like, "Aha, so that's how you did it!"

Meanwhile, John is all like, "Shit, this guy I've known for a day is all in trouble, need to save him at extreme endangerment to myself. Oh, I'm not limping!"

So John goes to save Sherlock, while he is all like, "This is the pill."

And the cabby guy is all like, "Really, are you sure? Oh, by the way, some guy is paying me to do this, just thought I'd tell you."

The John is all like shooting the cabby and stuff, and Sherlock is like, "Was I right, was I right?"

And the cabby is all like…dying and stuff.

So after, Sherlock starts deducing who the shooter guy was, when he realizes that it was John, so he tells Lestrade, "Fo-get it!"

And Sherlock is all bromantic and says, "Thanks man.''

And John is even more bromantical and is like, "Don' mention it."

Then mysterious guy shows up and he's all like, "Hey baby bro. It's me, your brother, Mycroft Holmes."

And I'm all like, "What the fuck kind of name is Mycroft?"

And John is all like, "You're brothers!"

And Sherlock is all like, "Yeah, but I hate him."

I had a brother once, he grew in my neck!

So this show was really great, especially since it was soooooooooooo much better than the one with Tony Stark and Judy Law in it!

This is Chester A. Bum saying, Change! You got Change! Aw come on, help a guy out will you? Come on, Change! I'll sell you my box TV that shows BBC, you'll never have to pay again!

**_Thank you_**

**_Seriously though, Sherlock is the coolest show ever, I watched all six episodes in one night, I forsook sleep._**

**Author's note: Thanks for reading, I love this show and did a Chester A. Bum style review for it because both are awesome. Disclaimer: Doug Walker, aka Thatguywiththeglasses owns the Bum and BBC owns Sherlock, I own nothing.**

**Reviews are loved! **


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